How Healthy Are Your Friendships?
We all love a fun girl's night full of laughter, a good movie, and great food! You all say your goodbyes, hug, and head home at the end of the night As you shower and get ready for bed, you start to reflect on your night, but you can't shake some of your friends' snarky comments about your appearance, accomplishments, or that you don't have a partner yet. You brush it off as playful banter, but it does bother you that the people closest to you would make such hurtful remarks. Does this sound familiar? If it does it’s because these are some red flags in your friendships that you probably never realized or maybe you didn’t have a term to describe this behavior. If you constantly find yourself sweeping red flags under the rug because of your commitment to certain friendships, it's time to reevaluate the people around you. Yes, that also includes those 12 or 15-year relationships too. Because friendships are such a delicate and crucial part of our lives, the people we have around us must reflect the circle of influence God wants for our lives. So what can you do to make sure that your friendships are healthy and God-ordained? And what are some of the things you should be looking out for and accomplishing within the relationship? Here are the three things to know to ensure that your relationships are “God-Approved”.
Red Flags
I’m sure a couple of things come to mind when you first think of red flags. Maybe you thought of the red flags you saw during your last date, like when they didn't open the door for you or spent more time on their phone than they did with you. Although those are red flags, we’re talking about the red flags in your friendships that you’ve secretly painted green without even realizing. Notice how some of your friends' facial expressions or tone changes when you mention your new promotion or how everyone is somehow unavailable to talk about your problems but expects you to be available when it’s their turn. Sometimes these red flags may not always be as noticeable, so ask God to expose the true intentions of those around you. You’d be surprised how many things you notice when God grants you the clarity to see the relationships around you for what they truly are. You’ll be grateful for the people God has surrounded you with, or you’ll realize that you put yourself into friendships that God didn’t “endorse”.
2. Reciprocity
You have a relationship with almost everyone and everything in your life. The plant in your living room depends on you for water and you rely on it to grow and brighten up your space. That is an example of a healthy relationship. Why? Because it is beneficial for both sides. It should be no different for your circle of friends. What are you gaining from each of your friends? No, workplace gossip does not count as a beneficial relationship even though it can be interesting at times. What each of your friends adds to your life should be meaningful for you and should add to the Lord’s purpose for your life. This also requires you to figure out who you are as a friend. If your friends are pouring into your life in ways that have elevated you to new heights, it is your job to do the same for them.
3. God Will Remove
Take a look at your relationships (old and new) and take action; it is truly up to you to make that decision. But know that if you don’t decide to limit or end the toxic friendships in your life, God will remove them. One of the great things about your relationship with God is that even though you stay in something that you know isn’t for you, He still has mercy on you and delivers you out of a place that you couldn’t take yourself out of. Often, we seem to think that we are in control of what happens in our life, and while that is true because of the free will that God gives us, it does not mean that God does not control the things and people around us. The people around you significantly impact you, your life, and your choices whether you realize it or not. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says: “Do not be misled; “Bad company corrupts good character”. God knows how hard it will be for you to take yourself out of a friendship that is not for you, so He does it for you to focus on Him and the plans He has for you.
To get all of the glory that God has prepared for you, you need the right friends to help and support you through your journey. And deep down, you know which friends belong with you on your journey and which friends don’t.